Mussar

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Naso

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Our Sages tell us that each person has 3 parents: mother, father, and God.  It is a true parenting triad – the mother and father provide the body, and God provides the soul.  This parenting bond begins with the conception of the baby and continues throughout the life of the person.   

Maimonides comments that of all the 613 commandments in Judaism, the hardest one to keep is to honour our parents.  I’ve heard that our parents will always know how to push our buttons because they are the ones who installed them.  With the 3 parents in our lives, what is true about our relationship with our mothers and fathers is true about our relationship with God.  When God pushes our buttons, those are some pretty big buttons, and they can have huge consequences to us. 

Understanding that makes us appreciate the importance of Birkhat haKohanim (the Priestly Blessings) that appear in this week’s parshah, Naso.  God tells Moses to teach Aaron how to bless the people with the three blessings whose simplicity and beauty says everything we’d want to say: 

“May God bless you and guard you 

May God shine the Divine Face on you and be gracious 

May God lift the Divine Face toward you and place peace upon you” 

It begins as a ritual of the Kohanim blessing the people, and it eventually becomes the blessing of parents on their children every Friday night.  It is the time when parents speak with God as one parent speaks to the other.  We hold our children and grandchildren close to us and quietly speak God’s words back to God, as one parent saying to the other: ‘when they’re with me, I’ve got them covered – but in those moments when I’m not there, I expect that you’ve got them covered’. 

It is the perfect example of how ritual is meant to work.  It starts in the Torah, moves through time and history to speak with relevance to our most important relationships and bonds today.  The Jewish people are always one family.  As we prepare for Shabbat, I offer this week’s parshah blessing for us all: 

May God bless us and guard us. 

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

  

Shabbat shalom, 

Rabbi Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Behar/Behukotai

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This Shabbat we read a double parshah: Behar/Behukotai.  It begins by saying that God spoke to Moses at the mountain.  The word ‘behar’ means both ‘at the mountain’ and ‘in the mountain’, which clearly raises questions.  For me, I always think of the piano teacher I had when I was growing up.  

My piano teacher was an avid church going woman, and she and I would have great conversations about religious practice.  Her social engagements (as she put it) always revolved around her church groups.  She was the first person in my life for whom I would attach the phrase ‘prim and proper’.  My piano teacher showed me how to create tea essence, rather than quickly use a teabag (an inexcusable shortcut in her eyes).  Every now and then I could glimpse her private life, but only brief glimpses.  Once, she told me that her brother was a pilot in the Canadian Air Force, and had been killed in the Second World War.  For a moment she paused, and then it was back to our lesson.  Our worlds were so different, but over the years there were wonderful intersecting moments.

The only time we had a disconnect of understanding was when I had to book my music theory exams.  Every date she mentioned was a Saturday.  I told her I can never take that exam on a Saturday.  I outlined the problems getting to the Conservatory on Shabbat, as well as the problem of writing.  I asked if I could take the exam orally, assuming I could walk there.  No variations on the exam were possible. Rules were rules.   My teacher felt frustrated – she couldn’t understand why I couldn’t negotiate around the problem with a religious leader.  She asked me why my rabbi wouldn’t just give me a dispensation to write the exam.  That was our moment of disconnect –I didn’t understand what a dispensation from a religious obligation meant..

I never took those exams, and after all our years of preparation together she felt I had let her down.  I couldn’t explain my world to her, and she couldn’t explain hers..  I think of her when we read this week’s Torah portion, parshat Behar/Bechukotai.  The very beginning of the parshah states: “When Moses was at Mount Sinai (behar)”, which is a correct translation, but ignores the literal layers of the word ‘behar’.  It means both ‘at the mountain’, as well as ‘in the mountain’.  Revelation at Sinai is not an experience that is lived, it is an experience, like the mountain, that is entered.  

At one point, Moses asks to see God, and God says no.  Instead, God tells Moses to enter a nook in the rock, and God will pass over Moses’ face – Moses will then feel the Divine Essence.  God could have done the same thing while Moses stood in open spaces, but God instructed Moses to stand inside the mountain.  Some things can only be felt and understood while standing within them.  The revelation at Sinai, and ‘behar’, tell us that our Judaism is best understood while we stand within it.  

The Torah reading this week invites us to enter our Judaism and ask all our questions while standing inside, protected with the solid rocks of ancestry.  From that position we build bridges to everything around us and the world connects.

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate.

Shabbat shalom,

Rachael

Rachael’s Thoughts on the 14th day of Iyar

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Today, Friday May 5th, the 14th day of Iyar, is a special day in the Jewish calendar –it’s Pesach Sheni, the Second Passover.  While we were in the wilderness, about a month after celebrating Pesach, a group of people approached Moses and said they were legitimately unable to participate in the holiday of Pesach, it’s not fair that they miss out and don’t get to celebrate.  Is there no way to ‘do it over’ just for them?  Moses consults with God, and Pesach Sheni, the Second Pesach, is set. 

In today’s world, the very question seems baffling.  Why would anyone ask to do Pesach later if they legitimately couldn’t do it the first time?  If Judaism allowed them to miss it (for example, health concerns), would someone today ask a rabbi if they could stop eating bread and only eat matzah one month later?  What are we missing today that our people in the ancient world understood?  Why is this group asking for a ‘do-over’? 

Having ‘do-overs’ is something we all experience as children.  I remember being in school and playing jump rope at recess.  If you missed your step and the rope stopped during your turn, you were officially ‘out’.  But you could ask for a ‘do-over’, an arbitrary moment of compassion, where you will be granted your turn again.  You have asked for a free turn to…well…do it over.  The decision is made by the owner of the jump rope.  It’s a moment of power and privilege to the owner of the rope, a request for compassion to be granted from the ‘owner’, the one higher than you.  It’s both a political and theological metaphoric moment in the school playground.  As kids, we don’t process all that, we just want the ‘do-over’. 

Jewishly, we actually don’t want do-overs because mistakes and errors are part of what shape us.  Teshuvah, repentance, learning to correct and move forward, are important moments we don’t want to give up –important Jewish skills we want to learn. But while we don’t want the ‘do over’, we do want the ‘do again’.  I want to be in the moment under my chuppah with my chosen partner… again.  I want the moment I met each of my babies…again.  I want the bear hugs of my father and the cuddles of my mother…again.  I don’t want to miss out on wonderful things, and that is exactly why a group of people approach Moses and ask not to miss out on celebrating Pesach.  To them, it’s a wonderful thing. 

There’s the detail that opens everything for us.  We’re supposed to enjoy our rituals.  Judaism should be a good thing in our lives, a positive and solid foundation from which we encounter the world.  Ritual should be celebratory — something we don’t want to miss.  The moment we question why there would be a Pesach Sheni is an indicator that we may want to reposition Judaism in our lives.  It should always pull us to joy and celebrations. 

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

  

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Acharei Mot & Kedoshim

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Within the Torah readings this Shabbat is ‘The Holiness Code’.  As soon as we hear that it’s a ‘how to’ on holiness, we expect something spiritual, something esoteric with elevated philosophies. We don’t get that, instead we get details on relationships, and details on harvesting.  It heads to the mundane, which begs the question: where’s the holiness in The Holiness Code? 

Perhaps the holiness actually sits in all the details rather than in the grandeur.  In teaching us how to harvest our fields, the Torah tells us to leave the corners alone, in other words, harvest in spirals.  It’s important to remember that land isn’t measured in circles, it’s measured in squares or rectangles so it will always have corners.  It makes the most sense to harvest in lines.  By being told to harvest in spirals, it now becomes impossible to get into the corners, which will always remain outside of the harvester’s reach.  We are also told that if a harvester drops anything they cut, it must remain on the ground and the harvester must proceed onward.  At first glance these are strange laws that seem to represent losses to the land owner. 

The holiness aspect enters when we understand that every field has more than harvesters in it.  Among those who are paid to harvest are people who are unemployed, as well as people who are hungry.  When the harvester drops something, it is not picked up because someone who needs it will now gather it and keep it.  The harvesters are kept out of the corners of the field because the poor and the disadvantaged will harvest the corners and keep what they harvest. 

But why not simply harvest everything and give a percentage as charity, which would result in the same thing?  But it’s not the same thing, it’s merely the same outcome.  Charity puts food on someone’s table, but it’s the result of my work, not theirs.  Charity is transformed when we build shared experiences that produce shared outcomes.  In the same field, some are harvesting, some are gathering, but all are  productively working together.  Everyone puts food on their own table that is the result of the work of their own hands.   

Holiness is when someone who is disadvantaged has the same experience as someone who has privilege. 

In today’s world, it would be similar to giving a homeless person a gift card to the same place you buy your coffee or food.  With the gift card, that person now enters the same place, is treated equally, and sits together with everyone in a shared experience.  Holiness is created when everyone is treated with honour and respect.   

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

  

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Rosh Chodesh Iyar

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This Shabbat is the beginning of a new month in our Jewish calendar, it’s Rosh Chodesh Iyar.  Iyar is the second month of the Jewish ritual year.  Nisan, the month we celebrate Pesach, is the month the Torah specifies as our first month.  Iyar is the month after Nisan, so it is the second month of our year – it’s the Jewish ‘February’.  January has all the excitement and hype of newness, and February has…28 days.  Nothing special goes on in February.  The most unique thing about February is…it has 28 days.  It’s about the number of days, and in that way it’s very similar to Iyar.  Iyar is the month of counting the Omer as we head to Shavuot.  The entire month is a month of counting, it’s about the number of days. 

There is a common Jewish joke that compares the month of Iyar to a famous, boring donkey named Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh and the Hundred Acre Wood.  It’s not just that they sound the same (Iyar & Eeyore), it’s also that Eeyore is a dismal donkey, Pooh Bear’s flatlined, monotonic friend, who cannot rise to the excitement of anything. But once we’ve opened the door to the Jewishness of Eeyore, we cannot help but step through that door and explore the fullness of the Hundred Acre Wood, in its Jewishness, of course. 

Pooh Bear is the young child who goes to the Jewish after-school program at shul.  He doesn’t always see how the Jewish things he’s learning fits into his day, but in the end, Pooh Bear connects with ideas that speak to him in very unique ways.  Eeyore is Iyar (how could I resist?), the ‘goes along to get along’ person in shul who anchors and comforts with their very presence – there might not be a glowing smile, and maybe there’s a keen awareness of what went wrong, but they are reliable, dependable, and will always be there for everyone.  Piglet is the loyal bubbly shul goer who gets excited about everything – always the first to arrive, they welcome everyone else, and genuinely anticipate a great service.  Rabbit heads committees to make sure things get done; a stickler for details, he’s clearly the reason all the great ideas actually get done.  Christopher Robin is the Gabbai who makes sure things are as they should be.  Kanga is every parent, and Roo is every toddler.  Owl is, of course, the Sage Talmudist who informs far beyond what was asked, only to confuse the matter.  Last, but not least, is our beloved Tigger, who shows up at all our simchas (though we’re not quite sure whose guest list he was on) — he’s in every hora and kicks up the party to true joy.  We now have a complete Hundred Acre Minyan. 

But aside from the philosophical dive into Winnie the Pooh, the month of Iyar has a beautiful message for us.  The month before, Nisan, has all the excitement of Pesach while the month afterwards, Sivan, has the holiday of Shavuot – Iyar has no holiday.  The rabbis warn us not to think of Iyar as a time to be passive.  In fact, the letters of the Hebrew word ‘Iyar’ create the acronym: “I am God, your Healer”, and so Iyar becomes the month of healing.  A time of processing internally, and quietly, for healing and strength.  It might look like nothing is happening, but often the most powerful of things happen humbly inside of us.  We must never mistake humility for passivity.   

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

  

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Shemini

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This week’s Torah reading, parashat Shemini, introduces Israel to the routine of sacrifices, and the strict structures of fixed ritual.  Having to be spiritual in preset moments of our day is something we struggle with all the time – why can’t I just pray when I feel like praying? 

Long ago, the Sages discussed the tension that exists between spontaneous and fixed prayer.  At times, we enter the moment as it occurs, and express ourselves with a spontaneous prayer that is uniquely ours.  Other times, we are told to pick up a Siddur at specific times of the day and use the words printed there.  Both of those expressions feed our souls, in very different ways. 

In this week’s parashah, Israel is being introduced to fixed ritual through specific sacrifices that are triggered by time or events – nothing spontaneous. Humanity calling out to God from within a human moment is natural to us, and we see it happening throughout Torah. It is the fixed routine of spirituality that is new and challenging – telling our souls, which are timeless, that they are now on a schedule for spiritual expression.  

Prayer is often challenging, not because we don’t feel a moment of depth, but because we may not feel it in the specific hours we’re gathered together with a Siddur in our hands.  This challenge isn’t new, as we hear the discussions in the Talmud of rabbis introducing their spontaneous prayers into the time of a fixed prayer.  In other words, the answer is not to always choose one or the other, it is to layer one into the other.   

If being spontaneous speaks strongly to you, find a moment to also utter a line of prayer from the Siddur – if praying out of a Siddur speaks strongly to you, find a moment to also stop and utter a personal spontaneous prayer.  Create a prayer that is both timeless and time bound. 

Layering both expressions together is the way the Torah reminds us that both our bodies and our souls are holy and must enhance each other.  Our bodies are entirely of this world, each cell containing its own clock, keeping us connected to time.  Our souls are entirely of the spiritual realm, connected to God, existing outside time.  Our expression of prayer, entering a holy moment, elevates our awareness of both a structured existence as well as a spontaneous one. Jewish ritual is not entirely about the details of the expression, it includes the nuanced expression of our personal moments. 

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Shabbat Hagadol

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This Shabbat is called Shabbat Hagadol, The Grand Sabbath, the Shabbat before Pesach.   One of the reasons for this name is because this is the first time, while still in Egypt, on the verge of leaving, Israel willingly takes on the choice to fulfill a commandment.  This means all the Israelites in Egypt cross the threshold of becoming an adult, becoming Bnei Mitzvah, and the meaning of Gadol, when speaking of a person, speaks of someone who is no longer a minor, someone who is a mature adult. 

But being an adult, with free will, immediately raises a question of choosing a perspective.  Life brings wonderful things to us, and can equally blindside us and bring tears to our eyes.  We know both sides are in our path – we do not choose what will happen, we choose how we read what happens. 

It reminds me of the old Jewish man who is lying in bed fearing the worst.  He calls to his wife, Goldie, and he says: ‘Goldeh, things are looking tough right now, but I’m remembering our years together.  I remember when we first were married, and suddenly our lives became hard, finding a place to live’.  Goldie nods her head.  ‘And Goldeh, I remember when we opened our first grocery store together, and we were robbed within a month.’  Goldie nods her head. ‘And Goldeh, don’t think I’ve forgotten that when we opened our second store together, it burned to the ground right after the insurance expired.’ Goldie nods her head.  ‘And through it all, Goldeh, you were there, every step, every moment.’  Goldie’s eyes fill and she nods. ‘And so, my Goldeh, in this moment of dire reflection, I have come to an important conclusion…’ Goldie leans closer, ‘My Goldeh…I now understand…you’re bad luck.’ 

It’s not what happens to us that shapes us, it’s how we choose to view it.  Ancient Egypt simultaneously produced slaves and leaders.  Our texts show us that Moses becomes our spiritual giant, Miriam becomes the guardian, and Aaron becomes the peacemaker.  Yet it is for us to choose what we see and where we focus. 

This Shabbat is the 10th day of Nisan, the day Miriam died.  Miriam, the quiet leader who brought us culture through her spontaneous song and dance; who brought us water in the wilderness through Miriam’s Well; who taught us guardianship as she protected her brother, Moses; who taught us to step into opportunities as she spoke to Pharaoh’s daughter and reunited her mother with Moses so they could bond.   

Our Sages teach us that we were redeemed from Egypt on the merit of the Jewish women, and so my thoughts move to Miriam and Goldie.  As Shabbat Hagadol leads us into Pesach, I choose to think of everything Miriam brought to us, and not to think of the great sadness they felt when they lost her.  I choose to think of Goldie, so strong, so loyal, so misunderstood. 

Our people is filled with Miriams and Goldies and Moses and Aarons.  Regardless of how busy things can get, may we never be the ones who choose not to see them. 

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat —our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate.   

Also wishing everyone a meaningful, connected and beautiful Pesach. 

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Mishpatim

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This week’s Torah reading, Mishpatim, contains the famous phrase: “an eye for an eye”.   It introduces a list of injuries that are to be repaid with the same injury.  In the ancient world, chances are these words were taken literally, but in Jewish texts, we see that the discussion begins, almost immediately, on whether it is the actual eye, or the monetary equivalent.   

We know that, in the end, the Jewish judicial process will introduce the concept of equivalence within the law –an assessment of damages, rather than the actual infliction of damages.  But how did we become so bold as to interpret Torah in this way? 

Interestingly, the discussions do not begin with a question of whether a court should be inflicting physical damage on anyone, since even imprisoning someone is taking away physical freedom.  The debate centres on whether we could actually do what the Torah has told us to do.  What if the injury is only partial –could we be sure that the court’s action would likewise only partially injure in the same way?  In other words, the Torah has told us to do something we are incapable of doing.  We view these moments as invitations to engage with our Torah and explore it from the inside. 

Generally, we understand that everyone moves from the known to the unknown.  In this case, we know how we function when we are capable, and we know how we function when we are diminished, but we don’t know how that could be projected onto someone else.  We now understand that we are projecting the difference, not the injury.  We can calculate the difference.   

We also know that each generation will have its own set of ‘knowns’ and ‘unknowns’; Judaism shows us how the words of the Torah will teach this process to each generation, no matter where in time they are placed.  It is how we see the growth and evolution of Torah, and Jewish values, and that this growth was intended from the very beginning.  It is how we understand these laws to be eternal and forever meaningful. 

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

  

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Lech Lecha

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In this week’s Torah reading, parshat Lech Lecha, we meet our first generation of ancestors: Abraham and Sarah. We always think of them as the beginnings of Judaism, the ones who followed God into a relationship that changes them, changes their descendants, and changes the world. 

What we don’t often emphasize is that the journey to search for something more didn’t begin with Abraham and Sarah, it began with Abraham’s father, Terach. Before reading of the beginning of the Jewish journey, the Torah tells us that a man named Terach took his family, including his son Abraham and daughter-in-law Sarah, and left their home in Chaldean territory. Along the journey, Terach dies, and his family stagnates. They seem paralyzed by the loss of their father and the family journey seems to end just as it has barely begun. 

It is then that God speaks to Abraham and prompts him to ‘lech lecha’, ‘journey onward’. It is a Divine prod to continue with the vision and initiative of his father, Terach –to bring the family to new horizons. The relationship that God, Abraham, and Sarah, will form is not the relationship Terach envisioned but it is the continuation of his impulse to search beyond the usual. 

The Torah is always full of layers of meaning and timeless messages. Terach changed his family culture and envisioned what could be beyond, but his life ended. If not for God reaching out to Abraham and Sarah, Terach’s vision would have ended as well. The Torah is always full of timeless messages, and in this case, we are shown that the journey of a life takes longer than a lifetime. 

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael 

Rachael’s Thoughts on Parshat Noah

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This week’s Torah reading, parshat Noah, tells us the story of Noah’s Ark – a story we’re all familiar with.  We know the grandeur of the problem: all of creation has corrupted and turned evil.  We know the grandeur of the solution: God destroys everything with a flood.  But within the narrative lies a subtle detail that speaks volumes to us today. 

The Torah says that the animals and people entered the ark in their designated numbers. They are referred to as pairs when they enter. Yet, when these same people and animals leave the ark, we’re told they leave in their family groupings.  In other words, the people and animals who were isolating together in the ark formed relationships and bonds while they were there.   

As nature raged outside, the ark protected those within — not just with shelter from the storm, but with the understanding that they will survive if they create strong bonds with each other.  When the destruction outside became overwhelming, it is the love and bond they developed for each other that secured difficult moments. 

The corruption that led to the flood included a preference for disconnect and ultimate autonomy from everyone and everything.  The Sages speak of a world where absolute self-interest and self-promotion became the motive and expression of everything.  The Torah contrasts that with the changing reality inside the ark.  While everything entered on its own, they quickly formed trust, family, bond, and the hope of continuity.  

After the High Holidays, I heard from many families who re-experienced the power and joy of sitting together with family members.  In some cases, it had been years since they were able to experience those moments.  The spirituality of Judaism is not just the holiness of God and ritual, it is also the holiness we create when we reach toward each other and build strong unions.   

I’d like to wish everyone a sweet and peaceful Shabbat –our Jewish time to regroup, rest, and reinvigorate. 

Shabbat shalom, 

Rachael